Teaching new parts of speech to six year olds is not an easy task. In Kindergarten, they learned that words are letters put together in a certain order and have meaning. They learn that print moves from left to right. They learn that sentences are words put together in a certain order to make sense, … More #droptheadjectives

Marsha Green Jeans

My sister was 16 when I was born. I consider myself her “starter baby”.  This probably explains why she waited a while to have kids. While no one else might consider 16 years a perfect space between siblings, I highly recommend it.  a) She was old enough to be a competent babysitter; b) she was young … More Marsha Green Jeans


Our small, local newspaper has begun printing a Sunday paper.  Technically it’s the Friday edition, since this particular newspaper is infamous for printing things two days late, but the paper comes on Sunday, it has a plethora of ads, and it is spread out in pieces all around my house, and so by definition, it’s … More Newsworthy

An Open Letter to Martha Stewart, or “I Ain’t Goin’ Back to Jail.”

        Dear Martha Stewart, I am writing to ask you, gently yet firmly, to stop contacting me via email and the U.S. Postal Service. Our friendship, perhaps our co-dependency, was forged in a much different time for both of us.  Somewhere around 1996, I fell in love with your organizational skills, your … More An Open Letter to Martha Stewart, or “I Ain’t Goin’ Back to Jail.”

Raised by Wolves

In other breaking news, I saw a video clip recently of a mother brown bear rescuing her cub from a busy highway. Go ahead. Google it. I’ll wait. You’re probably a rebel and didn’t Google it, so I’ll recap. A cub had somehow gotten on the trafficy side of a highway barrier and was in … More Raised by Wolves

That One Commercial

You turn on the television, and there’s the commercial. You know, that one commercial. People are dancing. There’s an upbeat song. There might be a dog and a car. Twenty-seven seconds into the commercial, and it’s obvious. The commercial is for… Deck paint. No, Beer. No, retirement funds. No, cell phones. No, pet food. No, … More That One Commercial


Let it be known that I could never be a Jehovah’s Witness. My affinity for celebrating holidays is well known, and often a source of stress for my husband, Gregg. I like most holidays, even the ones “created as marketing gimmicks by greeting card companies,” per Gregg. Never fear, Hallmark, I got your back. You … More Shenanigans