For My Son: A Plea for Equality

Indiana is at a very important moral and political crossroads. It is crucial that we move forward and recognize all citizens as equal, and afford all citizens equal application of the law. I have written an email today to our Attorney General, pleading for him to not place a stay on a ruling which declared Indiana’s marriage ban unconstitutional.

Some readers may disagree with my opinion. Please note that this is my blog, and I will not welcome comments that I believe are hurtful to the cause of love and equality. Basically, suck it, and go post elsewhere.

Attorney General Greg Zoeller,

You may not personally know the people I love or care for or teach, the people with whom I attend church or the people for whom I pray, but as our Attorney General, you were elected to do a very important job for us. We entrusted you to make decisions for us. And we have something to say that you need to hear.

Many, many years ago, I would have agreed with Indiana’s ban on marriage between people of the same sex. I felt, as many do, that the bible interpreted homosexuality as a sin. That “traditional” marriage was the only choice. That “family values” meant that my family of a husband, a wife, and two sons was the hilt of perfection.

But my family values were a sham.

My husband left my children and me. The State of Indiana said that we had “irreconcilable differences” and granted him a divorce in 60 days. I was left with two sons, debt, half an education, and a God whom I had felt forsaken me. I thought a lot about my faith then, and realized that in all the years I had professed to be Christian, I had not read the Bible. And so I did. And I read other books, too. I enrolled at St. Mary of the Woods College and finished my Bachelor’s degree. I rebuilt a life and a faith in the following years, a life that was vastly better than before.

I learned during this journey that marriage is sacred when two people are faithful and committed, and it isn’t when they aren’t. Man and woman, man and man, woman and woman…. the sin of defiling a marriage is the same – lies, adultery, abandoment. Man and woman, man and man, woman and woman….sexual sin is borne of hatred, lust, control – not that of loving, committed, respectful action. I learned during my study of cultures and religion that all faiths are based upon the same image of God – one who is loving and in whom truth is compassionate and kind.

My most important lesson in life came in 2010. I was newly remarried to a wonderful man, and my new marriage came with loyalty and stability. My youngest son Logan, then 14, finally had a stepfather who was an excellent role model. When Logan came to me later that year and told me that he was gay, I began a new journey. This journey required me to put the lessons I learned in my journey of faith into action. I read an excellent book written by two Christian ministers, “The Children Are Free,” and I was surprised to know that what some religions feel about homosexuality is a result of vastly misinterpreted texts taken very much out of context. How could this be otherwise? How could God hate my child, a child He created in HIs image? A child who is very kind to others, respects people, and is the exact same as every other human being on earth, except for the fact that he loves differently. I began to talk to many of my close friends, family members, church and community friends, and realized that so many of them were in the same position. People they loved, their own children and brothers and sisters, were gay, and it was impossible to consider that they were “guilty” of sin for simply being a loving person.

In March of 1963, this country began a march toward the equality of all people. ALL people. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., had a dream that his children would be judged by the content of their character. I have that same dream. Judge my child on the fact that he volunteers to help people, that he has never been arrested, that he makes good grades, that he has a wish to someday become a counselor and help others. Judge my child on the fact that he is respectful and kind. Judge him for the fact that for the past two years, he has been in what his guidance counselor at school has said is “the most respectful, mature, loving relationship” with his partner. I asked my son today what he has learned from the marriages of those around him, failed or strong. He replied, “Good marriages are based on trust and honesty, kindness, and being totally committed in hard times, like Granny and Pappy. Since her stroke, he has been there to take care of her and has never turned away. That’s what I want.” Please, I beg you, allow my son the same love and level of commitment.

If you want to honor the word of God, follow the order that Jesus Christ gave to you – love God with all of your heart, mind and soul (i.e. don’t disrespect the human being He created, even one whom is different than you,) and love your neighbor as yourself (including your gay neighbor, your black neighbor, your Muslim neighbor, and your disabled neighbor.) If you want to uphold the Constitution of the United States, follow the order that our country’s founders gave you – to offer equal application of the law to all citizens. All.

We can no longer afford to hate one another and disqualify others as equals. We have had enough bigotry. We continue to divide ourselves when we need to be standing together to assure equality, and thus a just society. Think with your mind that is educated and intelligent, that knows the law and all it encompasses; and think with your heart that is compassionate and recognizes the human need for love and acceptance.

Thank you,

Amy Cory

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5 thoughts on “For My Son: A Plea for Equality

  1. Well said, Amy. True love doesn’t come to us all, and when it does, it should be honoured and respected by those around the two people, regardless of their gender. I hope your words strike a chord in the Attorney General and that he is able to think with his heart about what love, commitment and marriage really mean. Good luck.

  2. “People they loved, their own children and brothers and sisters, were gay, and it was impossible to consider that they were ‘guilty’ of sin for simply being a loving person.” Brilliant. Hopefully, your journey will help others to see what you now see!

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