I gave fair warning about my top ten lists.
A kiddo in my class asked me, “When is Leprechaun Day?” I actually heard Saint Patrick groan from his grave. Or it may have been the radiator in my classroom, which spits out heat like it’s a portal to Hell.
Speaking of leprechauns…
Top 10 Off-Season Jobs for Leprechauns
10. Promoters of Leprechaundoms (a wee condom for wee winkies.)
9. Gay-Pride t-shirt suppliers. (They actually hold the copyright for the rainbow.)
8. Scab workers replacing striking Keebler elves.
7. Hobbit stunt doubles.
6. Product testers for Reebok’s line of Weebok shoes.
5. Strippers (although a very small percentage of them are actually paid for this. Typically they just get drunk and start disrobing).
4. Medicinal marijuana farmers (“Pot-O-Gold Farms”, est. 1968)
3. Mini-marshmallow miners for General Mills.
2. Bono roadies.
1. Motivational speakers. (“Well now, kids, life ain’t a box o’ Lucky Charms… I’m livin’ in an empty pot, down by the river!)